ODDS’N’SODS — Mr. and Mrs. Bullion’s misadventure

Considering his surname and the fact that he majored in geology in his native England, it seemed only natural that M.J. Bullion would migrate to the booming gold camp of Porcupine in northern Ontario in 1920. He became a geologist at the Hollinger mine, and he and his wife lived conservatively in Timmins for many years.

Reaching retirement age in 1947, the Bullions ordered a new 18-ft., tow-behind trailer with electric brakes, all conveniences and a full-width picture window across the rear section. It was arranged that they would drive to the factory in Indiana, pick up the trailer, attend an instruction seminar, then tour in the southeastern states before “wintering” in the Florida Keys. Everything went as planned.

Returning north in the spring, they were crossing Georgia on a hot afternoon when M.J. asked his wife to stop for a moment so that he could get into the trailer to take a nap. (He did so, though they were both aware that people and pets were not permitted in towed vehicles.) The closed-up trailer was like an oven; he removed items of clothing until he was down to his shorts and was soon fast asleep.

When a dog darted across the road, Mrs. B hit the brakes, sending M.J. forward, causing him to strike his head on the partition. Half dazed, he attempted to stand up just as she took off; he lost his balance and crashed backwards through the picture window.

M.J. was sprawled in the dust in semi-shock when a state trooper arrived, applied some band-aids to his scratches, wrapped him in a blanket, then helped him into the cruiser before taking off to catch the unsuspecting driver.

With his car’s siren blaring, he quickly pulled over Mrs. B. The trooper advised M.J. to “get dressed,” gave him a warning citation and instructed them to follow him to a repair shop for temporary repairs. Ready to roll again, the Bullions headed for Indiana where a new window was installed. Back in Timmins, their friends wanted to hear about their trip, see their photos and exclaim over the seashell souvenirs. The trip was discussed in detail, but M.J.’s fall through the rear window was not mentioned. Several years later, following an afternoon with his cronies at the Legion Hall, word leaked out about M.J.’s “unscheduled exit” from the trailer in a dusty little cotton town in Georgia.

— The author, a frequent contributor to the column, resides in Boyertown, Pa.